This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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