hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
