i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
