Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
