she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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