hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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