Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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