either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
