honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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