Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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