All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
