yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
