i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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