Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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