ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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