chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
