ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
