I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I will be naked everywhere
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
