I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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