I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
