I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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