He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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