I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
