We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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