i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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