i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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