I wish I could teleport
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
