I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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