You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
