just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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