wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
