Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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