WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
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