I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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