you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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