new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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