Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
