Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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