She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
