According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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