Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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