Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
