that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
