We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
