he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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