Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize