One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
