he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize