she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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