if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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