yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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