I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
