Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
