I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
