okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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